The Power to Change

With mistakes and miss-steps being an inevitable part of the human experience, our power exists in the ability to take corrective measures. Change is the only constant that life deals us. Nature personifies this by a steady flow of new beginnings from season to season. If change is the cornerstone of the purest thing we can see, nature, then it must be imbedded into the fabric of who we are. In every human being, there exists more than the ability to change; their lies an essence of change.

One of the greatest factors causing people to resist change is simply denial. When we encounter an unfavorable outcome, the greatest thing we can do is to understand that we are fallible human beings, and that it’s more than plausible to believe that we had something to do with creating this outcome. The blame game should submit to the mirror, as you choose not to deflect blame in life, rather taking an introspective look at the truth of what you contributed to unfavorable outcomes you have experienced.

A clear picture of this is when I see couples end their relationship. A tendency is to protect yourself emotionally, by not acknowledging any contributions you made to the failed union. This allows you to move forward with a clear conscience, as you concoct a story in your mind that allows you to stare away from any realities that are staring at you. The glaring issue in this is that you remain the same person, and deny yourself the opportunity to become a better individual, through simply owning and accepting whatever your contribution was. Having done this, chances are, when a person enters a new relationship, they will be more conscious to not make the same offerings that facilitated their previous failed union. Through a simple act of choice, this person chose to grow.

If something that you were involved to comes to an end, you were figuratively “in a relationship” with it. Staring at realities that stare at you, when things come to an end in life, sets the table for incredible change and personal growth. Looking away from the reality of whatever contributions you made to any failed situation is the prefect bridge into denial and stagnation of growth.

When you look directly at your wrongs in life, you find your power to change, as the necessary adaptations in behavior become apparent in continuing to not make the same mistakes. If you live life as if you don’t make mistakes, you will continue to make the same ones. Individuals, who grow and evolve progressively as people, have a tendency to own their wrongs in life, resisting the self-serving route of placing them on others.

There comes a point in life where we must all grow up. We must all accept and admit our wrongs in different areas of life, to create an awareness of how to change these into rights.

Exercising your power to change is nothing more than taking ownership of your missteps, while taking corrective measures to not repeat them. Embrace your power to change.

Matthew C. Horne, Motivational Speaker and Author, is the president of Optimum Success International; a self-development and book publishing company located in the metropolitan Washington, DC area. He is the author of five books, of which his two latest are, “Choices: The Young Black Man’s Guide to Successful Living” and “How To Get Beautiful Women …and Everything Else You Want From Life!” His message of Creating Your Life, Your Way is spanning the globe through his books, speeches and other mediums of communication. Matthew C. Horne is the world’s premier motivational speaker. To learn more about Matthew C. Horne, please visit www.matthewchorne.com.

Basenotes

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“For Halloween, some of y’all should go as the person that you regularly pretend to be on Facebook. Trick or Treat!” –Roslyn Hall (College Classmate and Facebook Friend)

 

When a fragrance is sprayed onto a person’s skin, it goes through three phases until the scent can no longer be altered, and is fixated in a position of vulnerability, as the lasting elements of the scent are on full display. These three phases are Top, Middle, and Basenotes.

The Top Notes are immediately impressionable; as their strong nature usually creates an immediate impression as to the quality of the fragrance, influencing you to believe that the scent is enticing, or not worth further exploration.

The Middle Notes are mellower, balancing out any non-pleasantries that the strength of Top Notes may have created. This is where the comfort of the scent is found, creating an enticing aura around the initial top notes, as the heart of the scent is revealed.

The Base Notes are where the holding power of the scent are relayed. Some Base Notes are still evident 24 hours after the perfume is applied to the skin. Many fragrances are judged during this dry down period, as the truth of the scent permeates. When a scent comes on strong in the beginning, and fades quickly, having no holding power, it is viewed as disappointing and inauthentic. When a fragrance’s Base Notes are more engaging than the initial Top/Middle Notes, the perfume is viewed in a superior light.

Striking similarities exist in the progression of a fragrance when first applied, to the phases that people go through as time progresses. The Base Note is the most important note resulting from the revelations that surface considering the vulnerability of the scent no longer being able to manipulate itself, with the lasting truth being all there is, and all there ever will be pertaining to the scent.The Base Note for an individual is when they encounter a trying time, or are suddenly placed in a telling position where the character of who they are shines through.

People easily and often paint many pictures of themselves, to others, upon first meeting them. Some images are entrenched in authenticity, while others are embodied in delusion and deceit. There are two elements that will reveal the truth of any fragrance, as well as any person: time and vulnerability.

Authenticity is when the perception of truth you give off upon first meeting someone, stands the test of time, with your character revealing a deeper depth as to who you truly are, that surpasses the picture you initially painted of yourself. Inauthentic portrayals are the antithesis to this.

When your back is against the wall, with the only lasting element surrounding you being the moment of truth, your authentic self will shine through; whether or not this self is the person you presented yourself to be is irrefutable in its’ revelation. When life places you in a position where all pretenses evaporate, what are your lasting elements? What are your Base Notes?

 

Matthew C. Horne, Motivational Speaker and Author, is the president of Optimum Success International; a self-development and book publishing company located in the metropolitan Washington, DC area. He is the author of five books, of which his two latest are, “Choices: The Young Black Man’s Guide to Successful Living” and “How To Get Beautiful Women …and Everything Else You Want From Life!” His message of Creating Your Life, Your Way is spanning the globe through his books, speeches and other mediums of communication.

The Unwilling Participant

“Conflict requires two willing participants. If you are not willing, then there is no conflict.” (From Matthew C. Horne’s Book, “Choices: The Young Black Man’s Guide To Successful Living”)

 

Conflict is eminent in our society. Often, it is entrenched in ego, with one party having to prove their superiority to the other until the exchange reaches unimaginable levels of fatigue. Conflict is one of the lowest energies that exist, and the biggest waste of energy there is.

 When someone attempts to engage you in conflict, always remember there is no conflict if you are not an active participant. Conflict usually derives from low energy emotions of feeling slighted or disrespected in some way. Conflict regularly arrives by pushing buttons to get a response out of you. When conflict approaches you in this manner, the ego based response is to prove yourself, subsequently escalating the conflict. The humble response is to surrender victory to who ever is attempting to involve you.

 From my experience, the person who attempts to engage another person in conflict feels defeated in some way, and is rectifying their stance of power in their mind through creating a battle with the person who compromised their sense of superiority. In an ego-driven society, this is common place. As soon as I see it coming, I tell the person: “You win.” In so many words I’m saying: “I refuse to take my energy, which is better served on the bigger picture of my life’s purpose, and engage in a low energy interaction.”

 An ego minded individual can say this is a “weak” response. We are all human. A wounded person pulls out all of the stops to engage you in conflict; insults, power plays, you name it. It’s tempting to want to prove your dominance and respond with low energy because of our human nature, but humility is the greatest strength that exists. It takes more power to not respond, then to feel the need to come back at someone who is disrespecting you.

 

 Higher Ground

 People who are easily engaged in conflict often live an average existence, in which they do not desire more than what they have, and through default have no energy engaged in building something larger for their life. When you are working towards something such as fulfilling your life’s purpose and mission, you instinctively will not allow things to enter your world that are not in concert with your promised land.

 One of my favorite biblical offerings states: “Where there is no vision, the people perish.” I interpret this as saying: “You can get caught up in virtually anything, if there is no bigger picture to weigh things against in life.” The ultimate higher ground to operate on in life is working towards a vision. When lower energies attempt to engage you, while you are on higher ground, the disparity between these two planes will be glaring. In an instant you will see how far you have to come down, just to entertain low energies such as conflict.

 If “Where there is no vision, the people perish,” then my favorite original quote must ring true: “Where there is vision, the people flourish.”

 

Matthew C. Horne, Motivational Speaker and Author, is the president of Optimum Success International; a self-development and book publishing company located in the metropolitan Washington, DC area. He is the author of five books, of which his two latest are, “Choices: The Young Black Man’s Guide to Successful Living” and “How To Get Beautiful Women …and Everything Else You Want From Life!” His message of Creating Your Life, Your Way is spanning the globe through his books, speeches and other mediums of communication.

When It’s Your Time!

Last week I was called upon to be the keynote speaker for a group of young black males at a university for a Black Male Initiative retreat. One of my topics was: “When it’s your time!” Sometimes when you are in front of an audience as a speaker, a thought will come to you that was not planned, but serves as precisely what that particular audience needs to relate to your subject matter.

This thought was in reference to the number one funny man in the game, Kevin Hart (a.k.a. Chocolate Drop). I explained how Kevin Hart seemingly came out of nowhere, and emerged as the current epitome of comedy. Kevin hart is everywhere; movies, BET Awards, his own reality show, as well as thriving comedy tours. I said this in the middle of my explanation of how to know when it is your time in life. My explanation went as follows…

When it comes to pursuing your dreams and visions in life, there are two critical “times.” Your first “time” is the one that you declare by simply getting started. The premise of my book, “All We Have is NOW,” is that ‘your moment is any time that you declare it to be.’ When you declare that it is your “time,” this declaration will be displayed by you simply getting started towards whatever dream and desire burns deeply within you. No one can interfere with this, as you have total control over this “time.”

The second “time” is when all of your efforts converge, culminating into an overwhelming amount of breakthroughs that take place on your behalf, catapulting you to the brightest of lights for all to see. There is no logic, rhyme, or reason as to how this happens, because it occurs at the hands of the All-Knowing Omniscient Creator who placed the dream inside of you. When we enter a realm where logic can not explain the occurrences around us, God is in control, plain and simple.

Kevin Hart obviously had to cultivate his gift, hit the chitterling circuit, and perform in front of anyone who would listen when he initially declared that it was his “time.” There then came a day when all of his efforts converged into what we see now. His undeniable stardom signifies he is in the height of his moment. Believe it or not, he had little to do with this. Kevin couldn’t create the chance encounters with the pivotal people who made stardom happen for him. This was completely out of his hands. In so many words he controlled what he could in terms of giving comedy an honest go, but something bigger than him is responsible for the man we’ve come to know as Kevin Hart.

There are two important “Times” when it comes to pursuing your inner-most dreams and desires. The first “Time” is the one that you declare by simply getting started; you control this one. The second “Time” is the moment when all your efforts converge, and you experience a breakthrough. God controls this one. Accept this in totality, and get started.

 

Matthew C. Horne, Motivational Speaker and Author, is the president of Optimum Success International; a self-development and book publishing company located in the metropolitan Washington, DC area. He is the author of five books, of which his two latest are, “Choices: The Young Black Man’s Guide to Successful Living” and “How To Get Beautiful Women …and Everything Else You Want From Life!” His message of Creating Your Life, Your Way is spanning the globe through his books, speeches and other mediums of communication. Matthew C. Horne is the world’s premier motivational speaker. To learn more about Matthew C. Horne, please visit www.matthewchorne.com.

The Power of Your Gifts

In late June of this year, I had a simple, yet eye-opening conversation with a gentleman as we had lunch, while vacationing out of the country. He began to discuss a few difficulties that he and his fiancé were facing in the progression of their relationship.

I listened intently as he detailed challenging scenarios they found themselves in. When he finished talking, I simply said: “When you did this, she did this.” He replied with: “Yes.” I then said: “When she did this, you did this.” He replied with: “Yes, how did you know that?” I then explained to him that I had just released a book on how to get beautiful women. I further explained the hallmark of my latest literary creation was that I captured and quantified the thought processes of extremely beautiful women, having dated so many of them. Without hesitation, he said: “I want your book; how much is it?” With regret I informed him I didn’t bring any copies out of the country with me. In my mind I was leaving that world behind, considering I was on vacation.

As I meditated on this conversation, there were three glaring truths that stared me in the face.

Truth Number 1: Your Gifts are Solutions For Your Fellow Man

Your gifts are undoubtedly the solutions you were sent here to deliver to your fellow man. What I thought was just a casual, run of the mill conversation represented much more value to this gentleman. Solutions he had been waiting for, evidenced in the exuberance and surprise of his reaction, were delivered to him on this day. When you are freely operating in your gifts, there are no days off, because you have submitted to the reason for your existence, and are on a collision course with the people you were created to impact.

Truth Number 2: Your Prosperity is in Your Gifts

People pay top dollar for solutions. The better the solutions you offer, the greater your financial reward. Evidenced all around us, we see this every day as soon as we walk out of our doors. People are offering us solutions. As soon as the gentleman in this story received his solution from my gifts, he immediately wanted to make a financial exchange, by purchasing my book. To rely on one stream of income is financial Russian roulette. With no concrete end in site with the government shut down, millions of government workers are now forced to function without their normal income. Many people are facing the reality that the only concrete opportunities are the ones that you create for yourself. If you create something substantial from your God-given gifts, an inopportune financial setback can serve as an opportune moment to dig deeper into your reservoir of solutions, and create your life, your way, through your gifts.

Truth Number 3: Your Gifts Were Never Meant to be Shelved

By consciously choosing not to bring any books on vacation with me, in essence I shelved a portion of my gifts. It wasn’t just this gentleman who wanted my book; it was also a young lady who sat beside me on the connecting flight from Miami. It’s selfish to shelve a solution, especially when it is intended for your fellow man. There are no days off when it comes to operating in your gifts. Ultimately, you didn’t give yourself your gifts, so deliver them freely, as the All-Knowing Omniscient Creator has designed you to do.

Matthew C. Horne, Motivational Speaker and Author, is the president of Optimum Success International; a self-development and book publishing company located in the metropolitan Washington, DC area. He is the author of five books, of which his two latest are, “Choices: The Young Black Man’s Guide to Successful Living” and “How To Get Beautiful Women …and Everything Else You Want From Life!” His message of Creating Your Life, Your Way is spanning the globe through his books, speeches and other mediums of communication. Matthew C. Horne is the world’s premier motivational speaker. To learn more about Matthew C. Horne, please visit www.matthewchorne.com.